Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Cardio Induced Death

I think I might be dying. No, really it's a possibility that I'm dying. My fingers are the only part of my body that can move. And even they are in defiance.

Monday I started P90X. Have you heard of this death by 13 Set DVD work out? I first heard about it a few weeks ago. Everybody at my office seems to be doing it and after a few weeks of rave reviews they convinced me that I needed to try it out as well. I have been having a hard time fitting a run to the gym into a busy schedule so I thought maybe a work out at home would be a good idea for a while. So I hopped on over to eBay and bought it. Took a trip to Academy and bought the "supplies" - a few sets of dumbbells, workout mat, and a chin up bar and I was all set. What a sucker am I?

I watched the intro video on Sunday entitled "Bring It". Cheesy, right? It's the kind of video that has a deep voice in the background saying P90X-x-x-x-x-x-x as the echo fades. It said that after 90 days P90X I should be a transformed person. The guy on the video was totally ripped. I'm thinking, I'm sure this isn't the only work out this guy does. He's probably in the gym too, cross country 7 days a week, takes steroids, etc. and then gives P90X all the credit. I skimmed the material that came with the package and it showed pre- and post-P90X pictures of folks that seemed nothing short of miraculous. Yeah sure, me in 90 days - I bet. Hmm...did I miss the breast and 8 pack ab implants in the box? Nope, I guess those weren't included in the starter kit. Bummer.

Monday comes. Chest and abs. It's an hour long chest workout and then 30 minute ab routine. I didn't even get to do the ab routine due to a change in schedule. Joey forgot to tell me that he committed us to dinner with friends so I came home and did my hour chest workout and then hopped in the shower for a quick scrub down. I shouldn't have used the word "hopped". That is inaccurate. It was more like "limped" and the shower was not fast, but rather slow and tedious. I couldn't move my arms to suds up like normal so I ended up just looping my finger around my soapy shower puff and tossing it over my body in hopes that the momentum would do the work for me. This is where Scrubbing Bubbles could've really helped me out. So that was day 1.

(by the way, Joey at this very moment is making me get out of his favorite chair because I'm all sweaty. I'm now on the floor typing.)

Day 2. Plyometrics. I think "Plyo" must be fancy Latin for "pain". It's basically jumping for an hour. By the end of it I was just flailing my legs around in hopes of getting them off the ground. I will liken that to what Tony, the instructor, calls "modifying" it for your personal level. Modifying...flailing...all the same for me at 35 minutes into plyometrics. I was absolutely drippng with sweat. My legs felt like lead and Jello Jigglers all at the same time.

Today, Day 3. Dying. I just did an hour of shoulders and arms. Still sore from Chest Monday and Pain Tuesday. I did not completely make it through the extra 20-30 minutes Ab Ripper X which is supposed to be I think 2-3x/wk. I tried, but I couldn't physically DO half of them. Again, modified. But I made it, dying quite possibly, but Day 3 is down.

Tomorrow is Yoga. I heard it's really hard. I have never really done yoga except a video or two with a friend during which we laughed at ourselves the entire time. I don't think that counts.

And back to my original statement, about P90X being all that Tony does. I believe it. Well duh, you're going to in crazy shape if you're put through boot camp like this every stinking day of your life! This is not something new. Fancy it up and call it "muscleconfusion" all you want to try to repackage it, but it's just plain hard work. Really hard work.

Alright, so I've whined enough, but I can't say enough about the work out. It IS a workout and I DO expect results. I don't think my body has a choice. The trick will be sticking with it. It's definitely a time committment, but I can do it on my terms at least.

I'm beginning to regain a little movement in the rest of my body, so I better take advantage of it now. I will let you know how yoga goes.


  1. I do this at work with my work out buddy on lunch break. I am not really following the program obviously, since I only do it about once or twice a week, and we don't even really have time to do the fully 90 minutes on a lunch break, but it is killer! How come I am already dying during the Plyo warm-up? Seriously? Too many "high knees". I also like how he emphasizes you should land your jumps "like a cat". We like to hiss and add animal movements to our jumps to make it more fun.

  2. Then you know. I thought the same thing about landing like a cat as I land with a thud that echoes through our living room. I'll think about adding the hissing. Sounds like a good idea to mix things up. Joey's the only one here and he already knows I'm kinda different so what could it hurt? Plus I have been requesting that he stay out of the area until I'm done because it looks like I'm doing DKwon's Dance Grooves. Good add.

  3. Okay, you've officially scared me. Steven was telling me we should do this together at home. Marin loves Pilates...well, she loves to crawl on me while I’m attempting the teaser or the one hundred. Wonder what she would do with P90X? Keep us posted on your progress.