Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Where Babies Come From

Last night around 4:30am, Joey and I were awakened by a startling sound. A baby crying. And this would make sense...if we had a baby. And maybe despite the below freezing temperatures, if our neighbors had a baby. Joey got up, walked around the house, looked out the windows, looked in the closets (naturally, where babies hide) and no baby. It sounded like a baby crying at the top of its lungs. Finally, I said, Joey...check the front door. I was considering the possibility of a Reverse Stork - Where Babies Come From. Maybe they really come from storks and I've been believing in The Other the whole time. Fleeting thought. Stories of people leaving babies in bundles on people's doorsteps started coming to mind. We're definitely not in Old Testament conditions, but isn't this how Moses got his gig? To crush the suspense, Joey opened the door and no baby. I have to say, in the few seconds that I had thought about what if there's a baby at the door, I was kind of excited. So I was surprised that disappointment was what I felt when there was not a little basket outside the door. That feeling surprised even me! So no baby. What was it? Well, we have now chalked it up to the more plausible explanation. Mating cats. At least that's what we have been told can be mistaken for a crying child. Nice, isn't it? I thought I was hearing a little bundle of joy and it was mating cats. Lovely.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Sweating to C.S. Lewis?

You may have noticed on the right sidebar that I have a "Currently Listening To" section and you might be surprised when you notice that it is not music. You might further be surprised that this month's listening pleasure looks like something that a 90 year old woman would be interested in. Alas, it's true.

Here's the progression of things. I would find myself in the gym getting super bored. My mind would be all over the place and I felt like it was wasted mental time. I would find myself counting other people's reps just to get through two more minutes of elliptical time. So I decided I absolutely had to find something that required focus and would get the time to pass. What makes time fly by for me? Reading! Why yes! Great idea! I will download a book on my iPod. This way, I'll get my workout in, eliminate boredom, AND "read" a few books all at the same time! Brilliant! So I went home and decided to download my first book. I really wanted something worth my time. I decided on C.S. Lewis' Screwtape Letters, which I read quite a long time ago and had a vague memory of. My next workout comes around and I'm all set with my iPod in hand. Ready to workout and get some good "reading" in. Time is going to fly by! Wrong-o! What was I thinking?! C.S. Lewis while going up and down on an elliptical machine?! British accent, British sentence structure, C.S. Lewis' main concepts, not to mention the fact that (if you have ever read the book) the roles of God as good and Satan as bad are reversed because it is from a demon's perspective so this is really confusing. Really, what was I thinking? I have to reread C.S. Lewis paragraphs at least a second time anyway to grasp the concept. Why in the world did I think I was going to be able to master it audibly and aerobically? I did muscle through it with many rewinds and replaying chapters. Sometimes I would turn it up really loud, thinking maybe if it is loud enough I will have a better chance of following. This only elicited strange looks from the people around me. You expect to hear music coming out of one's headphones - not British accents that sound like they came from the Masterpiece Theatre - so this is understandable. I did eventually muscle through it with many rewinds and replaying chapters.

So this time I picked pure fluff: The Friday Night Knitting Club. Too much fluff actually. And no, I don't knit. It was on the bestseller list and so I just picked it and left for the gym. But, it does get the job done. My workouts are much more enjoyable. I think next time I'll go for somewhere in between Twist My Brain and Fluff. I am still getting the looks, by the way, for the non-musical soundtrack coming from my headphones...

Friday, January 23, 2009

Husband Points

My husband sent me flowers today at work and made me feel so incredibly special! This made my day. I thought he deserved Blog Points. I saw a little girl dressed in a princess costume going into a store today. I'm sure the dress choice was a topic of conversation between she and her mom before leaving the house. I'm glad her mom indulged and let her wear the princess dress and I had to think, you never outgrow wanting to be a princess...

Joey, thank you for making me feel like a princess today!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Chapstick from a Chap's Perspective

Have you ever noticed how guys put on Chapstick? If not, you should. They put it on like they are teaching their lips a lesson. After watching Joey put on Chapstick in this fashion, I decided to get to the bottom of it. Here is how our conversation went:

Me: Why do you put it on like that?
Joey: Like what?
Me: All violent like and smeary. Why do guys do that?
Joey: Simple. To avoid looking gay or feminine.
Me: What? So you actually make a conscious effort to put it on like that?
Joey: Look, you already feel like a girl putting it on. You've got to be distinctive. You don't want to look like a chick putting on lipstick.
Me: Oh. I guess in a way that makes sense.

Friday, January 16, 2009

I Smell A Rat

Joey and I realized we had visitors about a month ago. It started when we heard some scurrying above our bedroom ceiling at night. Joey actually thought it was someone in our house the first time and was ready to beat somebody up. Then we noticed the scurrying pretty much all the time and in varying areas. In the living room one day. The study the next. I thought it had to be squirrels in our attic. I wish. Finally, one day they revealed themselves in the garage. It was a RAT and later we would pluralize to RAT(S). Huge Rats. It ran across the garage floor from a little hole in the wall and I promptly ran into the house. Joey ran after it with a 2x4 and bopped it on the head. So long Rat #1. We thought we were done, but not so. The scurrying was still going on. So Joey tried rat traps with peanut butter. He would come home excited to see if we had caught one only to find that they had tripped the trap and taken the goods. So they're smart. No wonder they're always in demand by science labs. Next Joey tried sticky traps. He came home and the sticky pads were symbolically stuck half way up the wall, as if they wanted to prove a point, saying "Ya think you're gonna mess w'me?" Poor Gus and Bo. They're the witnesses. They sleep in their kennels in the garage at night, the rats' prime time to do their dirty work. They would get in the dogs' food and birdseed. I can just see Bo and Gus locked in their kennels while The Rats are eating their food and taunting the beasts in the cage. THey were probably saying "Watcha gonna do, eh?". Joey finally bought poison. Slowly, the little green pellets disappeared and finally $50, 1 month, and 5 gray hairs later, the scurrying stopped. Yahoo! And then we started to notice a smell by the front door. We went into the garage and didn't really smell a lot so Joey decided to check the attic. He began to pull on the string for the attic and when he had pulled it to about a 45 degree angle, a dead rat rolled down the incline with a whoosh and landed with a thud on the garage floor. So long Rat #2. I freaked out. Disgusting. Joey was freaked out too, but he was laughing. I was inside in 2 seconds flat and if I was laughing it was only nervous-crazy laughter. Unfortunately, Rat #2 was not the source of the smell. There's one more, Rat #3, stuck in the wall. Joey and I are now almost gagging on Bath&BodyWorks' plug ins. I guess in the end The Rats had the last laugh.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Lunch Break Post

I am on my lunch break after letting our dog children out to roam the yard for a bit and thought I would write a quick post - and it'll be a quick one because I've gotta get back to work. Two orders of business:

1. To say that I am super excited about Beth Moore's new Bible study starting tonight: The Inheritance. Pumped I am!

2. And to tag some Honestees. That would be Liz, Laura, Justin, and Kristen. Some of these folks, I'm curious if you're still bloggin'. This is my way of checking. :)

And I'm on the phone with Joey right now. Apparently, Bo was bad this morning and is digging holes in the middle of backyard. Hmmm...being that this is my first dog, I'm really not sure what to do. He's so good when he's inside. But outside, he has made Gus' antics look like puppy play. Geez, the trials of parenting...

Back to work!!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

10 Things Honest About Me

Jana tagged me to share 10 Things if I'm Being Honest About Myself so here goes...

1)Well, this is a really selfish one to admit. The alarm on my cell phone is set to wake me up in the morning. Subconsciously (which sometimes is just a nice way of saying "secretly") I never intend to wake up with my alarm, but just let Joey wake me up AFTER he has been woken up by my 3 alarms. Joey is my 4th and final alarm. I think he might be on to me. Ouch! I am working on it...

2)My feet are not cute. The toe next to my big toe arcs like the Golden Gate Bridge and throws off the entire foot. To compound the problem, my feet are incredibly skinny. I have Hand Feet. These are feet whose toes could be confused as fingers from sheer length. I avoid shoes that put my feet in a bad light, such as those with skinny straps. Rule of thumb, or should I say toe, is to never wear shoes whose straps are skinnier than the Golden Gate Toe. Too much attention on the toes.

3)I do not like wine. I try to like wine. I feel uncultured that I don't like it, but if I'm going to splurge on something, I would rather it be a Coke. In certain social situations I will drink a glass of wine to make others feel better or at ease. I have tried to "acquire" the taste, but I would think I would have gotten it by now. I'm tired of acquiring. I think it tastes like sand water and my mouth feels like a desert after one sip. Yuck!

4)I think way too much about what others think and not enough about what God thinks. If I'm unsure about what I think about something I'll Google it, Wikipedia it, and poll the audience often times before I go to God in prayer or search for what He says about it in His Word.

5)I am an introvert by nature. Any extrovert behavior is learned.

6)Dumb things bother me. Like when people say "nucular" instead of "nuclear". Drives me insane! But really...does it matter? And things that should bother me, don't or at least I often don't say anything about them. I am more likely to pitch a fit about someone saying "nucular" than someone making off color remarks.

7)I often give more grace and patience to people I don't know than the people I love the most.

8)I am terrible at expressing disagreement with others outside of family. I would never have made it on the high school debate team. I avoid conflict like the plague. I used to be really bad about it. If I ordered a hamburger and got a taco instead, I would probably just say "Hey, I like tacos." and never mention it just to avoid confrontation. I've come along way. I'll ask for salsa on the waitress' way back now.

9)Joey is much better at picking out paint colors than I am and is as good as or better than I am in decorating the house. This is hard to admit for a girl by the way. Although, I have to say also just for my sake that he is pretty good. But it's hard to upped by your husband in this area. :)

10)I have no idea how to dress my blog up like everyone else's. I really don't even have a clue. Where is everyone getting all these crafty backgrounds from?

I will tag my next group of Honestees this week!

Monday, January 5, 2009

Unplanned Progress

At the beginning of every New Year I attempt to become one of those Organized People. I love all things organizational. Drawer dividers, filing systems, bins, planners, notebooks, etc. I absolutely love trips to The Container Store. I enjoy infomercials promoting organizational products. However, I am terribly and unfortunately unorganized. How can this be? I do not by nature fall into the category of those Ordained to be Organized. I am not a hater or a poser, but simply...a wanna-be. For instance, every year I take great pains to pick out The Best Personal Planner. I then proceed to put everything on the calendar that I know to be in the upcoming year at the time. If I know I'm going to be eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich next Wednesday - it's penciled in. I write everyone's birthdays down. A friend I haven't seen since high school who has the same birthday as me is on the list. I jot down grocery lists, To Do lists, meals planned for each day, the number of times I brush my hair daily, etc. I do this for about a week. And then notice a trend. I never look at it. I might write in it and say "Oh yes, let me put that on the calendar." and then it falls into the Planner Black Hole. Before too long, I am no longer using The Best Planner at all and instead survive on a jumble of sticky notes in my purse. In high school I was fortunate to not have died of ink poisoning due to the number of notes written on my hand in hopes of them making it home. Regardless of the much acknowledged trend, I have again purchased The Best Planner. I am determined that the year of 2009 for me, will be The Year of the Successful Planner. I am a week into it. So far so good. PB&J is on the calendar for next Wednesday. ;)